March 20, 2012

Trying To Keep A Positive Outlook......But It's So Hard!!

Today started out wonderfully. There was a beautiful sunrise!! I got to babysit my favorite 4 year old & one of the cutest 3 month old's ever (Sorry Jen.....I have to say my nephew is a little cuter)!! Taylor had the best attitude on the way to school - which is rare!! I was gonna have an awesome day.

Then the phone rang......

I received a phone call from the social worker at the VA who is in charge of the contracts between the VA & nursing facilities - like Laurels of Kent where Daron is. I hadn't talked to her, so I answered the phone with a happy "Hello!" That's when my smile faded & the shaking started. She told me that I have to fill out the application to the Vets Home & turn it in to get Daron on the waiting list.

Ok, before I go on, let me explain more of the phone call. When I answered the phone, she asked me if I had received the application from the Battle Creek social worker in the mail. I said that I had, but that I had destroyed it because Daron is not going to be moving to the Vets Home. Apparently, Daron & the Battle Creek social worker had filled out the application together prior to his move to Laurels of Kent. He had been told that the move to Laurels was only short term & he would then be permanently placed in the Vets Home. Well, I had no knowledge of this taking place & when the application came in the mail, Daron did not remember having had that conversation or filling it out. So that's why I destroyed it.

I had told the staff in Battle Creek that his move to Laurels had to be his last move due to his dementia progressing. I mean, he takes a little while to adjust. But the VA social worker I talked to this morning told me that was never agreed upon & he actually doesn't fully meet the state requirements for Laurels. I told her that if I had known that prior to his move, he would have staying in Battle Creek until he did meet the requirements for Laurels. I only wanted him to move once.

Unfortunately, I did dump all of the negatives from Daron's care at Battle Creek on her & was rude. I did apologize & explained that I am confused as to what is truly going on because I was never included in anything while he was in Battle Creek. I also explained that Laurels is a good fit for him right now & I would rather he stay there. But......since he doesn't fully meet the requirements, he can't stay there. Now we have a walk through scheduled for Friday afternoon at the Vets Home & I have to turn in the application to get him on the waiting list.

Does anyone realize that while he is on the waiting list he will get more adjusted & settled at Laurels?? Does anyone realize that after he is adjusted it will be difficult for him to move to the Vets Home?? Of course not!!

Ok....Ok.....let me make something clear.......I am a HUGE supporter of Veteran Health care. I have never had any issues with any of Daron's doctors or the care that he has received at the VA. I only have a problem with the lack of communication & disregard for Daron's safety that happened at Battle Creek while he was there. That is my huge issue & concern. He got great care otherwise & was well taken care of. However, there is a massive difference between the care he received in Battle Creek & the care he is getting at Laurels. The care is 1,000 times better & I am so happy that he moved. I really don't want to see him have to move again due to a technicality that could have been cleared up a month ago if there had been proper communication between the staff at Battle Creek & myself!!

But what am I supposed to do now?!?!? Well, I am going to contact some people high up in government & see if they can help me keep my husband at Laurels & keep his contract between the VA & Laurels. I am not going to release the name or names of the people I will contact, but I am going to contact them. I need to be Daron's biggest advocate for his care whether the VA likes it or not. If I don't then who will?!?!? Daron is my husband & I will do anything & everything in my power to make sure he gets the best care possible!!!! I don't want to be the complainer, the nag or the annoying wife who makes everyone upset. I just want to do everything I possibly can to get Daron the best care. I did that while he was in Battle Creek & they moved him to Laurels. Whether it was to get him the best care, get him closer to home or just to get rid of me, I don't know. All I know is that my annoying, strong-willed attitude pushed their buttons enough that it happened. Now I get to do it all over again in order to keep him at Laurels.

Granted, I will visit the Vets Home & get Daron's opinion of the place. But if he says he doesn't like it or doesn't care one way or the other......I will fight to keep him in Laurels!!

Please pray that the Lord will give me the right words to say & the proper attitude through all of this.
Please pray that everything will happen according to God's will - that is the most important thing through everything that is going on.
Please pray that God will be glorified through my attitude & my words as I go through this process.
Please pray that God will open the correct doors, & direct me to the correct people to help me through this situation.

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