August 7, 2012

Changes

I'm currently painting my house & that got me thinking about all the changes that are taking place in our family. It is interesting how changing the way your home looks can point out other changes that you didn't even know were happening. So many things have changed in the Tilburt family, but I'll only list a couple.

The biggest change has been this past year with Daron being in a nursing home. It is still hard to believe that it has been a full year. There are changes taking place within that situation as well. As time goes on, Daron's health is declining. That is hard to watch as his wife. That change is the hardest one to handle. Someone asked me the other day if I am afraid to be alone at home. My response was, "No. I have two big German Shepherds at home." Truth is, I hate being alone. I know that my dogs will do anything & everything to protect me as best they can. I also know that I have some great neighbors who will help me out. But, I am a married woman whose husband is no longer in the home. I have to drive 30 minutes to Lowell to visit him. My son is having a rough time as he prepares to enter adolescence without his Dad. I know the Lord gives me the strength I need each day & I am so grateful for that!! I just never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be 30, married, have an 8 y/o & have my husband living in a nursing home.

Another change is Taylor. He's only 8, but he is starting to enter that crazy stage in a boys life - adolescence. How am I gonna deal with this one? Prayer - Lots & Lots of prayer!! Thankfully Taylor's medication is helping him a lot. I never thought that I would medicate my son for any reason; but considering the situation, I wanted to do what I can to help him. There have been some rough patches along the way, but I think we are on the other side of it (at least for now). The best thing to come out of it is my relationship with Taylor. I am so thankful that we have each other through all of this.

I am also thankful that my relationship with the Lord is another wonderful change. I have grown closer to Him & have learned that I really can lean on Him for anything. This whole thing has caused me to realize that I took my relationship with the Lord for granted. I mean, I got to a point where I knew that God will help me no matter what - all I had to do was ask. But that's where I left it. I would ask for things as I needed them. I would pray when I felt it was necessary, but that's where it ended. Now I feel like I am in a constant state of prayer & praise. That is the best feeling!

So, while I return to painting my house & changing the way my home looks, I will remember that I have made some changes in my own life. Some good, some amazing.

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