April 8, 2013

Another Bend In The Road

I was so happy when Daron was clear minded after making his difficult decision. Life seemed easier during that time....
....he remembered all of our conversations - that meant less frustration all around.
....he was happier - that led to great visits & phone calls.
....he was nicer - again that meant great visits & phone calls.
....he was the Daron that I fell in love with once again, the guy that I have missed all these years & that I knew was truly buried deep inside.

Now it seems that we have taken yet another bend in the road during this journey. His mind is getting foggy once again. He has become selfish in his thinking again (I know that is part of the dementia). This is the tough part in this journey - the foggy brain. I am always reminding myself not to get frustrated with Daron when I talk to or see him. Since we have only been married for 10 years, it is tough to always remember that fact. I miss our deep discussions on things that were happening in our lives. A normal conversation for us these days lasts about 5-10 minutes & most of that is listening to him talk to his roommate or laugh at the TV.

I know that this bend won't last forever & we will take another bend in the road soon. I just don't know what that bend will be. I am thankful, though, that I know & trust the One who does know where that bend will lead & when we will take it. There is a Casting Crowns song that is always running through my mind these days. It is a wonderful reminder that God is already at the end of our lives & He is not surprised by what happens in our lives. The song is called 'Already There'. If you are going through a tough time, I encourage you to watch the video below & focus on the lyrics. They are completely true!

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