March 12, 2014
Cancer touched my life without me even knowing it. My paternal grandfather was diagnosed with colon cancer....twice. When I was pregnant with my son I contacted my grandfather in order to get to know him. Shortly after we got in touch he went into the hospital. He found out he had lung cancer & passed away a few days later. Now that I know about his colon cancer, I have already had my colon checked & I am getting ready for another test.
Cancer hits people when they least expect it & it doesn't care who it hits. There are so many different types of cancer & they all affect people differently. There is a cure out there & we all can help find it. Please visit the Relay For Life Website or the American Cancer Society Website to learn more about how you can help find a cure.
March 8, 2014
When I met Daron & found out he had MS, I honestly didn't think twice about it. He had a job as a mechanic & was handling his MS very well. When we started to seriously talk about getting married & having a family I still didn't give it a second thought. His MS didn't control him or define who he was as a person. We lived a happy life (with it's normal ups & downs along the way of course).
When he had his flare in 2009 that was when I started to see a difference in how he acted in regards to his MS. I hate to say it this way, but that is when his MS started to take control. That was when the Daron that I married "left" the picture & the MS Daron took over. It was hard to watch. I pushed him as much as I could & when he told me to stop pushing I would back off. I never fully stopped encouraging him to fight his disease. I didn't want the MS to win & destroy my family. But I feel as though it did.
Nowadays it is hard to talk to Daron on the phone or see him in person. The man that I fell in love with is no longer in the foreground. Now I have a husband who hasn't fully accepted this path that God has put us on. I'll be honest, there are days when I don't accept it either. When I am having a rough day & I just want some privacy.....or when the roof starts leaking & I can't figure out how to fix it......or when Taylor is misbehaving & needs his father to set him start......those are the times when I start to yell & scream at God. Those are the rough days & that's when I start to hate the MS for taking my husband from me.
It's really hard to have a "normal" conversation with Daron anymore. A lot of the time it revolves around him wanting to come home or blaming me for putting him in the nursing home. Those conversations are horrible. I feel bad for Daron & I know that he wants to be at home with his family. It is just so hard to listen to him talk that way when I pray all the time that he will accept this path & move forward. When people say "being a caregiver is not for the weak" they were not kidding. I would not wish this on my worst enemy!!
I just keep praying that God will give Daron the peace of mind that he needs. I also pray that God will work His perfect will in Daron's life. I know & trust that God will perform a miracle in Daron's life when His time is perfect. I also know that the miracle may not be the one that I am praying for. God will heal Daron - but it may not be on this side of Heaven & that is ok. I will just keep trusting in God's perfect plan for my husband, for my son, for our family & for myself. God will never steer me wrong if I just keep following His path & His plan!
March 7, 2014
How is it possible that two years ago today Daron left this earth and entered Heaven? It still feels like it was yesterday at times. This y...
This past weekend (October 20-22) I went to a widows retreat. It was a blessed weekend & I came home refreshed in my soul. While there, ...
I have been struggling to.... ....get out of bed in the morning. ....be a good mom. ....take care of my house. ....take care of myself. ...
In all honesty, I am still struggling with getting into my Bible every day. Without thinking I go straight to Facebook, my email or somethin...