June 16, 2014

How do I stop the cravings?

We've all had cravings for many different things. Most of the time when you hear the word "craving" you might think of food. But my pastor at church showed a whole new side to the word "craving" yesterday. In 1 Corinthians 10:1-13 Paul talks to the church in Corinth about "craving evil things" & what those cravings can lead to: Idolatry, Immorality, Testing God & Grumbling. Now, I have read through this passage a lot of times & never got the full effect of it....until yesterday.

As my pastor was preaching, I was really led to think about how I am "craving evil things" in my own life. God brought to light the fact that I have been craving a different husband, a better family atmosphere, a different situation then the one that I'm in, a different job. That realization hit my like a ton of bricks to the point that I was physically frozen in my spot & shaking at the end of the service. I couldn't even bring myself to sing the last song. My heart was telling me to go up to the front & ask for someone to pray with me, but I couldn't get my legs to move. I was frozen with shame. I didn't want people in my church to know that I have been craving those things. I couldn't even focus for the rest of the morning because I knew that my heart wasn't fully right with God. It still isn't.

While I have made some growth in my spiritual life that is visible on the outside, there is still a lot of work for me to do. When I was hit with the realization that I am craving a different husband, a better family atmosphere & a different situation.....I wanted to run out of the church building. I wanted to run away because the things that my pastor said the cravings led to are evident in my daily life. I have a picture of what my "ideal" husband looks like, acts like & how he treats me, & I compare that to how Daron has treated me. I also have the "ideal" picture of a better family atmosphere & I measure my relationship with Taylor to that. I also have an "ideal" situation that I would love to be in & then I get depressed when I realize that I'm not really in that situation.

See, I hold those "ideals" higher then anything else right now (Idolatry). I am always asking God why He chose this path for me & why can't He make life easier (Testing God). Then when I realize that nothing will change because God has me in this for a reason & a purpose, I begin to complain about everything that I think is wrong (Grumbling). All of those things lead me away from God instead of drawing me closer to Him. I am just hurting myself with those things & the horrible cycle that I have created. I need to daily put those thoughts out of my mind & fill it with Scriptures instead.

Thankfully, in verse 13 Paul reminds me that God Is Faithful! God knows my limits & He will always provide me with an escape route when those "cravings" come on. Looking back, I can see that escape route & I can see how many times I avoided it. I love music & God has been giving me hymns & worship songs on a daily basis. When I think back, I realize that every time I have had a "craving" God has tried to draw my attention away from it with a song. But in my stubbornness I have pushed that song away & clung to the "craving" instead. Now that I have realized that, I will cling to the words of the song or the Scripture that God gives me.

I don't want to crave evil things anymore - just like I don't want to crave ice cream, pop, chips, any other junk food anymore. I want to fully feast on the wonderful spiritual food that God provides me in His Word & crave that instead. I need to daily fight the evil cravings & reach for the Word instead. While it is difficult sometimes, I know that as I walk with my Savior the evil cravings will dim away. I am thankful for the Blessed Redeemer that I have leading the way.

Struggles

I have been struggling to.... ....get out of bed in the morning. ....be a good mom. ....take care of my house. ....take care of myself. ...