August 21, 2014

I Don't Know If I Can Do This Again

Life has been a little peaceful lately. Granted, Daron & I had our moments over the months. Things between us are still tough. I mean, there is always the thought in my mind that Daron will talk about wanting a divorce again or start the "Please let me come home" talk again.

Well, it happened & I was not prepared for it. Daron called & started talking about coming home or moving back to Lowell. I was caught so off guard by that one this time. When Daron moved back to Battle Creek last year, I took the time to fully explain the decision to him in a way that I thought he understood. The VA is not going to be willing to move him back & forth every year because he is unhappy where he's at. That was why he went from Lowell to Battle Creek - he was unhappy at Lowell. He wanted more activities, more freedom, more to do & he has that at Battle Creek. Now he wants to move back to Lowell because Taylor & I aren't able to visit as often as he would like us to visit.

Emotionally, I am a wreck right now. I know that I have been fighting depression for years & that doesn't make this any easier. I just wanted to sit in my bed, eat chocolate & cry on Tuesday night. But I did not give in to those thoughts. I fought through & spent time with Taylor since he always makes me laugh.  

I will overcome the emotions that I am feeling right now. I will come through this stronger. I know that God will give me the strength that I need to get through this. He has so many times over the years. I know that God is using this in my life to bring glory to Himself......but that is hard to keep in mind while I am going through all of this. 

Please continue to pray for my family as we go through this. \
Please pray for Taylor & I as we enter a new school/work year. 
Please pray that God will give Daron clarity of mind through this time.

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