December 8, 2015

6 Months

June 2015 - 6 months ago
It's crazy how far away 6 months ago feels to me. The school year had just ended & summer vacation was starting. I was getting ready to help serve in the kitchen at Lincoln Lake Camp for a week. Taylor was getting ready to go to camp. I was finishing up some VBS prep work. It feels like it's been a year since all of that happened.

A lot can change in 6 months.

December 2, 2015
My in-laws & I went to a care conference for Daron to discuss how much things have changed for him in the last few months. We went over his dietary changes (nectar thick liquid diet & spoon fed by a staff member), his wheelchair changes (no longer able to get around on his own in an electric wheelchair), vision changes (waiting to be referred to a low vision clinic to see the extent of vision loss), etc. We also discussed his new diagnosis & what it means.

His new diagnosis is Malignant MS - a very rare, very aggressive form of MS. It's so rare that the staff in Battle Creek aren't fully sure what Daron is going to experience as time passes. We are all at square one with this. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point.

This form of MS also means that he will progress at a rate we aren't sure of. I asked the doctor if they know how long he might have (not wanting them to play God, but give a best estimate)......the doctors response was  6 months - more or less. The doctor said it was less likely he would still be here in a year, but again they don't understand this form of MS. That was tough to hear & honestly, I still haven't fully processed all of the ramifications.

Could he live beyond 6 months? If that is God's plan for him.

Could he pass away in less then 6 months? If that is God's plan for him.

God is in total control of this situation & only His plan will play out. Only God knows how this will all end & when. At this point I am no longer asking for Christmas. I am asking God to let His plan play out in Daron's life & that He not let Daron suffer. I felt that asking to make it past a specific date was like putting God in a box. If God's plan is for Daron to pass before Christmas, I don't want to feel like God let me down. When Daron passes, I want to know that was the date/time that God saw as his time to enter Heaven before Daron was even born. I want to know that God's plan for Daron's life reached the perfect outcome & was complete.

For myself, Taylor, my extended family & Daron's extended family....this might be our last Christmas with him here on earth. But we know that we will have an eternity of Christmases with him in Heaven. Does that thought make any of this knowledge any easier? To be completely honest.....not all the time. It's tough to know that your loved ones life will end sooner then you think it should. It is easier to think of the eternal side because we know he won't be in pain anymore. We know that he will be happy & at peace. We also know that it won't seem like a lot of time has passed to him when we join him in Heaven. That is the truth that we hold onto during this time. That is what gives us the strength to keep going every day. God is the only place we can find true peace & comfort through this difficult time in our lives.

How can you help us through this?
---Pray for strength......emotional, spiritual, physical & mental. The coming days/weeks/months will be difficult & we covet your prayers through it.
---Pray for decisions that will have to be made. I have a meeting to discuss end of life decisions tomorrow (12/9/15).

Thank you to all who have been beside us along this journey. I am truly grateful & blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends & family members, especially now. May God bless each one of you as you have blessed us!

1 comment:

  1. Holding you up. Love ya, hon. Your faith through this is so inspiring - and so is your honesty. I admire you more than you know.


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