November 6, 2016

Hard To Look Back

I have the memories on Facebook set to pop up on a daily basis. Most of the time it is fun to see what I shared on Facebook a year ago, two years ago, etc. Today's memory was not fun to see & I know that the memories to come over the next few months won't be fun either.

One year ago today I posted this....

Prayers needed for wisdom, guidance, emotional/mental/physical strength! Daron is currently undergoing MS testing at a VA clinic near Chicago, IL. He has been there since Tuesday & I just found out yesterday (long story short - privacy laws didn't allow the staff to tell me or his parents after Daron told them not to). I spoke with the social worker there this afternoon & she wasn't sure how long he would be there - normally people are there for this testing for 3-5 days. Part of me wants to drop everything & drive to this clinic so I can know what's going on. The other part of me doesn't want to go so the doctors there can get a full picture of Daron's current state without my added input. Been praying all day for direction & still am not sure what I should do. Please pray that I will see God's will & do what is needed during this time. Thanks!

(You can get more information on what decisions were made by clicking here & reading a post I made.)

That was the beginning of the biggest change in our lives. A month after all of that took place I was told that Daron had about 6 months left on this earth - give or take. Daron made it to 7 months & 27 days after we were given that information. It is hard to think back to a year ago, knowing that we were spending our last holidays & special days with him. Granted, at the time, I didn't want to fully think that way. I knew deep down that God was preparing us to say goodbye, but I wasn't ready & I wanted to be stubborn. I honestly was praying for more time with Daron. Plus, I was realizing just how little time I actually spent with him over the years that he was in the nursing home.

Now, seeing in black & white what I wrote a year ago.....I am thankful for the time that we had with Daron. I may not have gotten out there every weekend like I wanted to, but every minute I did spend with him was precious & priceless. God gave us time to prepare to say goodbye & I am thankful. God gave us time to spend with him & I am thankful. God gave me the strength I needed to get through those times & I am thankful. I pray that I can say the same when I am looking back at this time a year from now. I know that God will remain faithful & keep His promises to me. For that I am thankful!

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